Bakura's Memory Loss
by Kaiba-Corp
Summary: Bakura somehow loses his memory at Malik's place. Contains a VERY pissed off Yami Malik, A sighing Malik, A happy Ryou, An Angry Seto, A threatning Yami and Underwear stealer Tea (Tea bashing will do!)
1. CHP 1 Memory Gone Bye ByeHello Nice Guy

Yami Malik sighed as Bakura was rummaging through his apartment. "Look Bakura I don't have it" Yami Malik claimed as he sat down on his couch. "I have a big feeling you do have it" Bakura barked in anger. "What exactly are you looking for?" Yami Malik asked as he slid into a sleeping position. "Um, well actually I don't know?" he said slightly confused. A dark shadow moved across the floor from Bakura and rammed right into the window. Yami Malik bolted up "What was that?" he asked worried Bakura had gone to the stage of throwing stuff. "I don't know that black thing did it" Bakura pointed to the window.  
  
Yami Malik closed the window and went towards his kitchen "Hey want anything Bakura" called Yami Malik. "Who's Bakura?" Bakura called. "Eh?" Yami Malik looked back in his lounge room to see Bakura huddled in a corner. "Why are you in the corner?" Yami Malik asked. "That eye keeps staring at me" Bakura pointed as the millennium ring was on the floor. Yami Malik looked at him confused. "Bakura have you lost your mind?" Yami Malik asked. Bakura stared up at him with innocent eyes. "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH BAKURA!!!" Yami Malik shouted rocking Bakura like mad. He soon stopped as he heard the sound of sobbing coming from him. "Are you crying Bakura?" Yami Malik asked. The door opened and in came Ryou and Malik. "What are you two doing?" Malik asked as the two were on the floor.  
  
"You idiot what the heck did you do!" Malik shouted. Yami Malik glared at his other self "Nothing!!!" he hissed. Ryou just chuckled, he was enjoying this. "Ryou why are you laughing at a time like this?" Malik asked. "Well no more beatings for me, that is until he becomes normal" Ryou said twirling the Millennium ring. "I did beatings to you?" the confused Bakura said. Ryou nodded and Malik sighed. "Yep and you did a good job too" Yami Malik muttered. "UP YOURS!" Shouted Ryou to Yami Malik. Yami Malik looked at him with darting cold eyes "SAY THAT AGAIN!" He dared. "UP YOURS ISHTAR!" Ryou shouted adding an extra. "TAKE THAT BACK MOP HEAD!" Yami Malik screamed. "STUFF YOU BLEACH HEAD!" Ryou retorted back adding "no offence Malik". "No I'll just pretend I never heard you" Malik muttered. The bickering went on a little longer.  
  
"YOUR SO IMMUTURE!" Ryou shouted. "YOU'RE A GIRLY GIRL NO WONDER YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING!" Screamed Yami Malik. Ryou was about to fight back when a pair of hands wrapped themselves around Ryou's waist. Ryou looked up in shock as Bakura was hugging him. "I'm sorry" he whispered in Ryou's ear. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BAKURA!!! DON'T GO SO SOFT!!!" Yami Malik screeched in anger at his friend. "I think it's time we went home" Ryou said shrugging Bakura off him. Ryou headed to the door with his backpack and left "Well nice meeting you!" Bakura said and ran out after his look alike. "I've got a head ache" Yami Malik said and went into the kitchen. "I'll see him tomorrow, I might give Ishizu a call" Malik said and headed to the phone.  
  
"So your me and I'm you" Bakura asked while the two made their was down the street. Ryou only sighed in disbelief, he couldn't believe what was happening, was he happy?. "Yo! Ryou!" called out a female voice. Ryou turned around to see one of his class mates Chiihariko Ekari. "Hey Chii" Ryou said. "You look a bit down are you ok?" she asked with some concern. "Nope" Ryou muttered. "Liar, What's happened to Bakura? Where's his icy stare gone?" Chiihariko asked. "I think Bakura has Amnesia" Ryou said. "Oh! That's bad, but it could be good" Chiihariko said with a smile. "Yeah I guess, well I better head home" Ryou said. "Is Malik home?" she asked. Ryou nodded "why?" he asked. "Ah! I just want to annoy the hell out of him, he stuck a dead frog in my back pack" she said. Ryou raised a brow "I didn't know that" he said with a little chuckle. Bakura stared into a shop window bored as. "Well seeya Ryou, Bye Bakura!" Chiihariko called and walked in the opposite direction. "I want that" Bakura said pointing to a skateboard. Ryou chuckled "You! You skateboard". "Sk-aate-boardd" he prounounced out slowly.  
  
Tea sat in her room smiling at the ceiling. "Hello Again Mr. Ceiling! How was your day?" she asked smiling back at it. The ceiling just stared at her. "My day was great thanks" she said back. "Tea what are you doing?" called her mother. "Talking to Mr. Ceiling she called. "Again!" he mother called back "Phone Dear!". Tea's eyes lit up and she ran to her phone. "YAMI YOU DECIDED TO GO OUT WITH ME!!!" She screamed into the phone. There was a pause on the other line. "You make me sick sometimes you know" said the voice. "REALLY! SORRY TO HEAR!" Tea shouted back happily. "Tea DID you somehow break into my house again and steal Mine and Bakura's underwear?" Ryou called into the phone. "Ummmmm.YEAH I THINK I DID!" She called back happily "AND I STOLE YUGI AND YAMI'S AND KAIBA'S TOO!" She shouted back happily. "Tea.I WANT MY UNDERWEAR BACK!!!" Ryou screamed back into the phone. "OKIES I GIVE THEM BACK TOMORROW AT SCHOOL! GOTTA GO! ANOTHER CALL COMING!" Tea said and hung up the phone. You could just hear Ryou screaming back "NOOOOOOOOO!!!".  
  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TEA GARDENER SPEAKING!" Tea shouted into the phone. "No need to shout! And it's not Christmas" said a calm but cold voice. "Isn't it? Is this the grim reaper ready to take me to heaven?" she asked. There was a pause "I wish" said the voice. "You do? I hope it comes true then" Tea said. "YOU wouldn't HAVE broken through my security system and steal MY laundry of UNDERWEAR would YOU TEA!!!" called a very annoyed Seto. "SETO! YOU AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME!!!" Screamed Tea in joy. There was a pause again "I'd rather eat street dirt" muttered Kaiba. "A YEAH I HAVE YOUR BLACK, BLUE AND WHITE UNDERWEAR!" Tea screamed into the phone holding up Kaiba's underwear to her head. "THEIR SITTING ON MY HEAD!". "FOR GODS SAKE WOMAN ARE YOU MAD! GET THEM OFF YOUR HEAD AND RETURN THEM NOW!" Seto shouted into the phone. "Another call coming through Kaiba! I'll return them at school tomorrow, seeya!" Tea said and hung up the phone with a large smile on her. You could just hear Kaiba screaming "YOU BIIIIITCH!!!".  
  
"GARDENERS RESIDENCE THE LOVELY DAUGHTER TEA IS TALKING!" Tea shouted. "Tea I will send you to the shadow realm tomorrow! Your soooo dead" warned a familiar voice. "YAMI! YOU CALLED! YOU LOVE ME! I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!" Tea shouted frantically. "Your evil you know Tea, AND I WOULDN'T EVEN BE SEEN WITH YOU! YOU CRAZY MAD WOMAN AND I WANT MY UNDERWEAR BACK YOU WOMAN UNDERWEAR (panty lol) THEIF!!!" Yami screamed back into the phone. "You all must love me! I had a call from Ryou! And a call from Seto! And now you!" Tea said hugging the phone and falling on her bed. "WRETCHED WOMAN! LISTEN TO ME I WANT MY UNDERWEAR BACK AND YUGI TOO!" Yami ranted on. "Tea dear your favorite show Teletubies afternoon is on" Mrs. Gardener called. "TELETUBIES ARE OUR FRIENDS!" Tea shouted jumping up and down. "Tele what?" Yami asked. "GOT TO GO YAMI, LOVE YOUUUUU!!! I'LL BRING YOUR UNDERWEAR TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!" Tea said and slammed the phone. She skipped out of the room.  
  
"Big brother why are you on the floor?" Mokuba asked as he slipped into his office. "Tea stole my underwear again" he murmured on the floor. Mokuba's face screwed up and burst out laughing. "Well don't put mine on, remember the last time you tried mine on?" Mokuba said. Seto groaned. Tea stole them before while he was having a bath, he needed something so he borrowed Mokuba's but was very tight. "Mokuba!!!" Seto whined. "I'll get them back!" Mokuba said and ran out of the room. Seto got up off the floor and sighed.  
  
"What happened?" Bakura asked. "Tea broke in and stole our underwear" Ryou muttered. "Why don't you go get them?" Bakura asked. "Why don't you" Ryou muttered. "Would you like me to?" Bakura asked. "Don't worry about it" Ryou said taking a seat. "I see, these Underwear must mean a lot to you, like gold" Bakura said. Ryou only started to pound with laughter. "I will find them for you!" Bakura said and ran out of the house. "BAKURA WAIT!!!" Ryou shouted running after him.  
  
"Curse that woman!" Yami shouted.  
  
TBC..  
  
Ok I haven't attepted a fic in a while and I think i might have lost my touch but anyway please review and I will continue, ja! 


	2. CHP 2 She Kept them WARM!

Ahhh I'm sorry for confusing most of you with my so called story! I really am and I was in a rush to finish this fic as I was in class when writing it *bangs laptop* I abuse my laptop a lot at school, carry it and drop it *sweat drop* please bare with me I have lost my touch in fanfics lol but if you think you can do better let me know! I want to know! ^_^ well I think I will continue please review and I'll write the next chapter quickly as I have nothing to do this weekend.  
  
"I will get my brothers underwear back!" Mokuba muttered as he walked down the street. He didn't notice he was talking out loud, he seemed not to notice that when he was thinking he was actually talking them. "Stuff that wretched woman" Mokuba cursed. An old woman looked at him. "What are you looking at?" Mokuba muttered and kept walking. Before he knew it the old woman had thrown her walking stick at him.  
  
"BAKURA! WHERE ARE YOU?" Ryou shouted looking around for his other self. Ryou stopped running to catch his breath. "I never thought this would happen, but it would be similar if he was back to normal though" Ryou said. There was a loud disturbance not far that caught Ryou's attention. "If I ever get my hands on that Bitch!". "Yami please calm down!". "I know those voices" Ryou said and jogged up head and ran into Yugi and Yami. "Yugi! Yami! Thank god" Ryou said. "Ryou how are you?" Yugi asked. "This is no time for chat, we must dispose of Tea!" Yami shouted. "So you are in the same boat as me" Ryou muttered. "You too? Where's Bakura?" Yugi asked with innocent eyes. Yami slapped Yugi on the back "Stop using those cute eyes Yugi, they irritate people sometimes" Yami said and grinned. "Your scary me Yami" Yugi said with tears in his eyes. "You're so emotional sometimes Yugi, but I guess I'm sorry" Yami said with a smile. Yugi smiled back and then turned back to Ryou. "Well Ryou you see...........Ryou? Where'd he go?" Yugi said with trembling lips. Yami just shrugged.  
  
"Bakura is that you?" called a voice. "Eh? Who are you?" Bakura asked. "It's me Joey Wheeler you moron" Joey called. "Joey? Are you a friend of Ryou?" Bakura asked confused. "What did ya do? Bump your head? We still have a fight to settle!" Joey said. "Are we going to fight?" Bakura asked. "Don't you remember you tried to drown me at the party Duke had" Joey said. "I did what?" Bakura said horrified. "Bakura have you gone nuts?" Joey asked. Bakura looked up at him blankly "I'm sorry!" Bakura said and hugged Joey. Joey stood there shocked for a second and started screaming his head off. People in the street looked. "Hey mommy look it's a gay couple" a little girl said. Joey rushed over to the girl "I'M NOT GAY!!!" He shouted at the girl. The girls mother went over to Joey and punched him "Keep away from my daughter you Gay Dog!" she said and dragged her daughter away. Joey dropped to the ground crying "I'm gonna kill you Bakura! This was a trick!" Joey sobbed.  
  
Ryou soon found Bakura with a whining crying Joey. "I can't take this anymore, what did I do to deserve this!" Ryou said. Ryou soon bursted into tears and he joined Joey. The two seemed to cry like two little babies. Bakura raised a brow "What do I do at a time like this?" he whined. "Hey what's up with you guys?" asked a voice. Bakura turned around to see that girl. "Chihiko?" Bakura asked. She shook her head "Chii-hari-ko" she spelt out. "What are you wearing?" Bakura asked. "Well I got a new part time job and I had to work extra cause Tea didn't turn up to her shift" Chiihariko said. "But what is it?" Bakura asked. "Well I think I'm a monster crossed over with a hotdog" she said. Ryou and Joey continued to cry. "Ryou! Joey! why are you crying?" Chiihariko asked nearly down next to them. "I hate life!" Ryou cried. "I'm not Gay" Joey cried. "That's not like Ryou and of course Joey isn't gay, but that time with Duke and you in a dog suit" Chiihariko went on and Joey wailed louder. "I'm sorry!!!" Chihariko waved her hands around frantically.  
  
"Your hair is so fake" Yami Malik sniggered. "Stop it" Yami retorted. "Did you try to electrocute yourself?" Yami Malik asked. "Shut Up!" Yami shouted. "Is that Gel?" he asked. " for **** sakes you low life, I have had quiet enough!" Yami shouted.  
  
"Lookies I added another pair of underwear to my collection! I now have Joeys! Tristans! And Serenity's underwear! Malik's, and Dukeys! Oh and Grandpa as well!And that hairy mans ones and I even have mine!" Tea said to herself. A puppy walked up to her. "Ah! So cute but you are not wearing any underwear! Here!" she puts Kaiba's underwear on the puppy.  
  
"Hey look it's Tea!" Yami shouted. "Where?! She has mine too!" Yami Malik retorted. "TEA!!!!!!" Yami shouted in her ear. "Wow a blast for my past its my future husband Yami!" she said and hugged him. Yami looked like he could of died. "Bitch give me my underwear he mouthed. "Gladly! I kept the warm" she said dropping Yami. "Warm?!" he said. "Yep! I'm wearing them!" she said lifting her skirt. Yami looked horrified and fainted. "I wore all of them!" she said happily. Yami Malik just couldn't breathe; he was holding back his laughter choking and gasping for air. "Ah! You want yours too Yami Malik!" she said throwing his and Malik's underwear. "Uh yeah thanks I think" he muttered. "Your welcome!" she said smiling "I wore them too!" she said. Yami Malik's face grew pale and he dropped the underwear. He then let out a piercing scream and ran for his life keeping his hands away from himself. "Awwwww! Well come Yami back to my place! We shall get married at once!" she said heaving the Yami on her back. 


	3. CHP 3 Joey Spell

At the Bakura household Yami Bakura was happily humming to himself while he prepared a meal for his look alike half. The doorbell went and Yami Bakura called out "Ryou! Someone's at the door!".  
  
Ryou was in the lounge room with a huge head ache trying to figure out his life over again. Gloomily he got up and headed over to the door. He opened it to see a short spiked hair kid. "Oh hello Yugi" Ryou murmured a greeting. He looked up with pleading eyes. "They don't work with me Yugi, what is it?" he asked. Yugi pouted "The others are right, you are turning into Bakura" Yugi said. Ryou stared at him for a moment and kept that thought in mind. "Anyways" Yugi continued "YOU have to HELP me!" he cried.  
  
"I will not be apart of this" Ryou shouted. "Oh please!" Yugi begged. Ryou shook his head. "Oh it's not that bad, he's your friend" Yami Bakura said. Ryou glared at him. "I will not dress up like Yami!" Ryou shouted. "All you need is a bit of gel and dye your hair" Yugi went on. "No!" Ryou shouted again. "Please Ryou! If you don't he will end up married to Tea! That'll be so bad! She's holding him hostage on some island called Teletubies all day land" Yugi explained. Ryou went wide eyes. "If Ryou won't do it, I will then" Yami Bakura exclaimed. Ryou's eyes widened even more "You have no idea what you are saying" Ryou murmured. "She can't be that bad" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"I won't let him!" Ryou shouted as Yugi started to spike his hair "he will kill me when he gets his memory back". Yugi eyed him "Why don't we drug him after the wedding" Yugi whispered in Ryou's ear. Ryou glared at him. "What!?" Yugi said innocently. "You're not as innocent as you look Yugi" Ryou muttered. Yugi gave a small sly smile.  
  
"THANKYOU MUMMY! YOU'RE THE BEST!" Tea shouted into her cell phone. Yami looked at the girl like she was a piece of rubbish or a germ. "At last Teletubie All Day land! Look it's a space ship! Lets go Yami!" she shouted and grabbed the Yami by the arm. Yami collapsed and Tea looked down at him. "OKIES THEN! LETS ALL PLAY DEAD!" she shouted and collapsed beside him not letting go of his arm. Yami tugged his arm away from her and he started to run for his life. "Yami you want to race to the space ship?" she called as she jogged after him. Yami looked horrified as the girl ran after him "or is this a game of tip?" she called again. Yami started to bolt like fast, it was like he was the victim and Tea was the bolder just ready to roll over him. Tea somehow started to catch up with Yami. "Aha! I'm gonna get you Yamikins!" she called with a high pitched laugh. Tears started to pour from his eyes "Why me!" he shouted. Next minute Tea jumped on him. Yami let out a bloodcurdling scream of his life.  
  
"Told you it wouldn't work!" Ryou said staring at Yugi. Yugi kept pulling Yami Bakura's hair into spike but it kept dropping back down. The phone rang and Bakura picked it up "Hello Ryou Bakura speaking". "Hey it's me Malik". "Malik how are you? Me I'm still having hard times, re-thinking my life, and I have two annoying people in my house" he3 said coldly as he looked at the two trying to be innocent Yugi and Yami Bakura. "Really? Ishizu said that? Oh so you heard about Yami too, yes I pity him too" Ryou went on. "Who is he talking to?" Yugi asked Yami Bakura. "I think it's his boyfriend" Yami Bakura said. "Alright we'll be right over" Ryou said and hung up the phone.  
  
Ryou sat down and raised his head to meet Yugi's gaze. "What?" Ryou asked rather annoyed. "I always thought you weren't straight" Yugi said. It took Ryou a while to figure what Yugi meant when Ryou stood up in objection "I AM STRAIGHT!" he roared. "I'm sure" said a voice. An un-invited guest was standing at the door.  
  
"Oh Hey you guys are a bit late" Malik said as he opened his apartment door. "That guy kept us up" Ryou said pointing to Seto. "Not my fault I have been trying to find you people all day! I should imprint you guys with tags so I can tell where you are" Seto said. "We are not Dogs like Joey" Ryou muttered. Yugi looked up at Malik and pointed at him "So you are Ryou's secret lover" Yugi said. Malik's eyes glowed "what did you say shrimp?" he muttered with a firey background. "Y-O-U A-R-E R-Y-O-U-S S-E-C- R-E-T L-O-V-E-R" Yugi spelt out. "I'm sure Malik is capable of the alphabet Yugi" Seto said. Malik grabbed Yugi and shut the door on the others leaving them out in the hall for a minute. The door opened and Malik smiled while Yugi looked like he was holding back huge tears just dying to run out. "Come in!" Malik greeted with a smile.  
  
"I have this book of ancient spells that was given to me along time ago, it might have a help full spell in it" he said flipping through the pages. "Does it have a spell to keep a persons hair spiky?" Yami Bakura asked. Malik nodded "Yep that's how when Yami was pharaoh kept his hair so spiky but it's on volume XI of the Spell books" Malik said. "Where's Yami Malik?" Ryou asked suddenly. "He left an hour ago muttering something about finding a remedy to bring Yami Bakura's memory back, he's been up everynight looking for answers" Malik said. Ryou looked a bit shocked "Does he really miss Yami Bakura that much?" Ryou asked. Malik nodded "Yep he misses him, he is bored tormenting and manipulating people on his own, he says it's no fun plus he can't stand him being such a goodie goodie".  
  
"At last a good spell other than growing nose hair" Malik said staring at Yami Bakura. "What? I think all the hair on my body should be spikey" he said. Yugi slapped his hand against his forehead. Ryou let out a small laugh and Seto was just too busy admiring his cards. "The spell to turn someone into another for a day and a half" Malik said. "I tell you I will not let you use Yami Bakura to be Yami" Ryou shouted. "Yeah I agree" snorted a vicious voice. "Welcome home Yami Malik" Malik greeted from his seat. "There is NO WAY! MY BEST FRIEND IS GOING TO BE YAMI!" he roared in anger "I WILL NOT LET HIM FOOL HIMSELF EVEN THOUGH HE HAS FORGOTTEN HIMSELF!!!". "You're my best friend?" Yami Bakura said. Yami Malik glared at him which cause Yami Bakura to cry. "Oh for ra's sake! Ryou come with me!" Malik said closing the spell book. Yugi and Seto got up to follow when Malik whipped around "I said Ryou only" he said. "You don't expect me to sit around with my rival and those two idiots!" Seto retorted. "Yes I do!" Malik said and walked off. "Son of a bitch!" Seto mouthed. "MY MOTHER WASN'T A BITCH KAIBA! YOUR'S WAS! I SAW IT!" Malik shouted and started to laugh outloud and then a slam of the door was heard.  
  
"Ok this is the plan Ryou, we break into Joey Wheeler's place and steal his most precious thing, then we put this spell on him and turn him into Yami, if he wants to change back he has to marry Tea in his Yami form while we rescue the real yami, sound good?" Malik said. "But doesn't the spell wear off in a day and a half?" Ryou asked. "He doesn't know that does he?" Malik said. "I guess, but what about Yami Bakura?!" Ryou asked. "Well Yugi agreed that he would force Yami to give up his puzzle for a day because it has something Yami Malik needs from it to get from it, part of Yami Bakura's soul is in it, actually it's like a back up memory for like a computer, he did it to back up his memory and to search through Yami's secrets, to tell the truth he never got far too many traps" Yami Malik explained. Ryou looked at him with wide eyes as the words 'why' danced around them. Malik put his foot out to stamp out the 'why'. "Why do you know all this and I don't" Ryou asked. "Um?!" he thought for a bit "No idea!" Malik replied.  
  
"Brother you want me to lend you money so you can get tickets to Teletubies all day land?! And lend my millennium necklace to use for a spell out of the ancient spell book?! And to make sure I drop of your groceries after work?! And do your laundry?!" Ishizu said over the phone. She nodded as she removed her millennium necklace of her neck "and Yugi said I could have it back" she murmured.  
  
Tbc  
  
Sorry it's not so funny as I am soooooo tired and it's like so late, actually it's morning and I'm in English class, it's soooooooooooo boring! Somebody help me _ AND NO I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP YAMU AND CAIELLO!  
  
Thankyou so much for the help Spencer and Steven! I'll leave chp 4 up to you 


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